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I suppose it can be pretty difficult to put yourself first without looking completely selfish to others, but take it from one who knows, constantly putting your own wants and needs on the back burner in order to facilitate the smooth running of someone else's life, can only lead to feelings of deep resentment and unhappiness within yourself! What I have learned personally, is that by always being at the beck and call of others, you will eventually achieve nothing but a personal melt down! If you don't nourish your own mind, body and soul/spirit first, then how can you ever hope to be of any use or benefit to anyone else?
Have a little ponder on the following points:-
- Saying NO to a person or invitation is a complete answer. You do not need to illustrate this with a graphic explanation.
- Relationships take a lot of work, and this should undoubtedly come from both parties involved! If you repeatedly find yourself going along with something because it's what your partner wants, yet the situation is making you desperately unhappy, speak up! Chances are, saying that you are no longer wanting to do something won't even cause an argument anyway, and they would probably be happy to do it alone, or even ask a friend to join them instead!
- If running around after other folk is wearing you out, and you aren't firing on all cylinders, the situation isn't going to benefit anyone, least of all you! By making yourself a priority, you are not disregarding the needs of others! It simply means that you are not willing to please others at your own expense! Ultimately, we are all responsible for ourselves, and if we ignore our own needs, nobody else is going to see to them for us!
- If you are not 'full up' as a person, you will have nothing of any value to give to anyone else. Adequate sleep, sufficient and healthy food and exercise is a really good place to start when learning how to make yourself a priority.
- We've all heard the phrase 'There's not enough hours in the day'. Fact is, there are 24 hours in a day and you cannot create any more! What you can do however, is learn to say 'no' more often (and mean it), prioritize your workload and employ some good time management techniques - e.g. not giving more time to a particular task than is necessary! (can it be spread out over more days, rather than trying to cram it all into one day?)
- Listening to your body and heart can help you realise when something is a little out of whack! If you don't feel right, sit down and make a list of what is wrong! What is missing from your life and what is there, but needs to be removed? Work out the best ways to remedy this situation!
- What to do you want? A simple question that can often be so difficult to answer. Whatever you want, write it down, no matter how trivial or silly it may seem!
- Prepare! Whether it is meal planning for the week, or laying out your daily outfits for work to save a little time in the morning - do it!
- Remove obstacles daily! Life will constantly throw obstructions in your path but don't get down! Everyone else is the same! Remove these obstacles, weed the garden, keep moving forward!
- Balance and happiness! You will always feel like something is missing if you constantly give to others and never giving back to yourself! Give at least one hour per day to something you love doing and 'feed your soul'!
- Stop living your life for other people! Nourish your own soul! If you do, you will often find yourself doing things joyfully for others.
I once asked a Paramedic colleague of mine, what was the most significant lesson he had learned during his medical training. Without pause he replied, 'Never make yourself a casualty!' He then went on to explain that however much it may be instinctual to race to the assistance of someone who is in trouble, taking a moment to assess the situation can often prevent injury and damage to yourself! After all, if you put yourself out of action, how on earth can you ever expect to effectively give assistance to anyone else?
Is there any snippet of advice you could add to this?